Getting to know yourself

For many years I have been searching for the ‘right’ way to live. The ‘right’ way to treat my self and my body, and guess what, it is a never ending search because I have been looking for the wrong things.

I needed to find out what it was, that I REALLY searching for. What I felt I was missing in my life.

When I realised what it was I was actually not surprised. What it was that I was searching for, was happiness and a sense of peace and calm inside my mind and body.

I first recently discovered Ali – the perception trainer on YouTube, and she really has some interesting and very honest opinions about happiness and the way you percept your self, and she gives you tools to look deeper into your mind and search for the REAL you and the reasons why you feel like you are searching for something, and never quite know why or how to get where you want to be.

For some weeks now I have been trying to understand why I workout, and why I feel unsatisfied with my self. Why there is no periods in my life, where I’m truly happy. Why is that?

Still not there yet, but the awareness is the first step for me to actually learn more on my self, and when I am aware, many of my habits during the day, I question them when they appear and try to find out why I have them. Not just accepting, but trying to find the reasons why they are there and change them if necessary. NOT easy, but it does really works. When I’m aware, they suddenly get visible and then it is possible for me to do something about it.

So for me this has been a important personal journey about finding the reasons why I am me, and why I do the things I do. It has been an important journey because I need to understand my self, and remove the things in my life, that doesn’t bring my joy and happiness.

Dear reader, please know that it is very personal for me, and knowing that this is bringing myself out there for good and for bad. Understand that why I bring this into the open, is because I feel this is important not only for me, but for us all. I meet people every day (family, friends and strangers) and know that we all want the same thing. To love and feel loved. To feel accepted, and to accept ourselves. I’m ok – you are ok – kinda thing 🙂 Don’t try to be other than yourself. And if you feel deep inside you, that YOU are ok just the way you are, then everybody else will feel the same about you. Be your best friend, and talk to yourself like if you talked to your best friend.

This is a lot to take in, I know. But just keep it in mind. It makes perfectly sense when you are AWARE of all this. Then it will hit you, how often this happens during a day. Not saying that we are not allowed to feel unhappy or sad, but just be aware. Listen to what your mind and body will tell you. There is so much wisdom in there to understand.

Please comment below if you have anything related to this subject you would like to share. I would love to hear from you.

Hugs Pernille

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5 comments on “Getting to know yourself

  1. Lena

    It makes perfect sense to me Pernille, that idea with journaling what you are good at. I think it is an awesome tip and awesome technique to use – everyone can find those 15 minutes a day. I do similar thing with my gratitude journal – every night before I go to sleep, I write down 5 things I am grateful for on the day. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes is is difficult to find 5 things. But I find it super important to focus our minds on positive things instead of focusing on problems, flaws etc. It is difficult, because even at school or in families, we have always been told what we were bad or unsuccesfull at.
    I am so glad that the techniques from Ali work for you, I hope you get great results. But as you said – it takes time and patience and it is improtant to go on and don´t stop after first steps.
    Big hugs from Prague, have a lovely day!

  2. admin

    I totally get what you are saying Lena 🙂
    I did some mindfullness courses last year and it helped me a lot, but if it has to work properly, I need to practice it everyday, and it just kind of stopped when the course stopped. So this is one thing I really want to start up again and practice on many levels.
    A little story from my life :
    Yesterday I came home from my studies and I was kind of sad (felt worn out and heavy) and if it wasn’t for Ali and her advise I would have stayed in that stage for hours. But luckily she had come up with this advice that just spoke to me: The last 14 days I have been making this 15 minutes of journal time, where I write things down that I’m good at. And I did that instead of just waiting for the sadness to go away. And it helped A LOT. It actually turned my mood immediately into light and I felt more free and happy,. Amazing feeling to be able to convert something not so good into somethin useful and helpfull for my self.
    The part where Ali talks about; ‘do to yourself as you would do to your best friend’. And that is exactly what I would do, if I knew somebody who was sad…. tell them how much I love them, how much they mean to me and what a fantastic person he or she is…. why not to my self right???
    Hope this makes sense. (It made so much sense in my head but difficult to explain and write down) . So if you haven’t watch that tip from Ali, I have now passed it on as well. Useful and powerful easy tool 🙂
    Huge hugs from me to you. Love to hear from you Lena.

  3. Lena (lenula)

    Pernille, I agree – as long as you are aware, there´s a hope and there a chance to solve it! You are right that it is imporant to say those things out loud, or write them down, express them in any way – or better to say, express them in as many ways as possible. When you turn those thought into “objects”, when you give them a clear form, then you can work on them, modify them and change them. I know what you mean by being a sceptic, and by analyzing everything. I do this all the time, and it doesn´t help that I am a psychologist – so analyzing is basically my job. I always analyze almost all my steps, my thoughts, my actions. Always thing I could do better or make everything in a different way. I need to stop this and instead of that I need to really become more mindfull of the beauty of life, the beauty of things around. I even downloaded few mindfulness therapy courses, I may give them a try 🙂

  4. admin

    Thank YOU for commenting on this very personal subject Lena 🙂
    As you know I totally relate to what you are going through. I’m soooo tired of not being just ok with whatever happens around me. I try to have a solution to everything, try to analyse all things and an expert on being a sceptic…. sigh 😉
    What A good idea to use ART therapy for mindfullness. Long walks and journal has been my therapy, and this blog also helps a lot. It is like when I get it out (on paper, on blog, to a friend said out loud) it makes it easier to be me. My mind are like working over hours all the time. Wish I could switch off some times. It would be so helpfull and I’m practising that for some time. Difficult stuff for me, but as I mentioned in my blog, as long as I’m aware there is hope right???

  5. Lena (lenula)

    Thanks for sharing this personal journey with us. I always enjoy reading your blog, but this one really ” got to me”. I have been following Ali´s videos for some time and I agree with you, she provides very honest, deep thoughts on important life topics. I also can understand how you feel, because I am kind of in a similar stage of my life…on the outside, everything seems to be ok (I have a job, career success, friends, money to my rent etc…), but inside there´s always this little “worm” that tells me it is not exactly what I want or need. It is not the true happiness I am looking for. It is like a chain with few pieces missing, and I don´t know yet where to find those pieces. For me personally art therapy (or simply art in general), keeping a diary of some sort (like gratitude diary) and going for long walks alone (which serves me a way of mediation, to sort out my thoughts) helps me on this journey. But I am not quite there yet. Thank you for being honest and true!

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